Perfect for You
by Imperial13
Summary: "Harley...darling, I don't think the Joker and Batman are meant for one another." "Ha! Shows what you know Red, they're made for one another...just you wait and see." "I need a drink." UNDER HEAVY CONSTRUCTION/REVISION
1. Chapter 1

So, I've always wanted to mess around with the batman universe and i've always had a thing for Harley quin so I thought maybe I should combine what I want and see where it goes...

Disclaimer: I don't own it, I can't own it. I kinda don't want it either.

Thank you.

"No Puddin', I ain't comin' back!" Harley Quinn slammed the giant metal door behind her and ran down the concrete steps of the Joker's hide-away.

She ran and she ran through the twisted maze of streets and alleyways that made up the slums of Gotham city. Every twist and turn on the dark streets reminded her of just how deep she had fallen from her used-to-be-famous self. All for a man. All for a man, whose idea of fun was talkin' about **H****im.**

She slowed down to a stop at the edge of an alleyway that lead to Main Street. Placing one of her gloved hands on the wall and the other on her knee she bent over and took several deep breaths. The lights of Main Street just barely touched the pointed tip of her red and black heels, but she felt more exposed then every before.

She and Mistiah J had gotten into a huge fight again, but this time Harley meant what she said, _I ain't goin' back to 'im_. Still bent over she brushed away her tears with a small swipe of her elbow. _God, why me? Mistiah J…ya big…jerk! _She giggled to herself as she said this under her breath so even she couldn't hear it. No matter how many criminals she hung out with she couldn't bring herself to curse. Her mama had raised a lady, not some cheap loony, ironic much?

She and Mistiah J were different, it was true, but she had always tried to overcome these differences to show him she was made for him…but **NO**, it was always "Batsy this" or "Batsy that". Never once did he pay attention to Harley. _What does he got that I don't…well he does have a…thingy…Oh My God! Is Mistiah J gay? Na, he couldn't be…but seriously, why does he like you so much Batsy? _

Harley kicked the ground with the front of her shoes and sighed, _maybe Mistiah J just likes a man in uniform, or leather or whatever that stuff is. I mean Batman must have a day life right? Right! So maybe since Mistiah J has a secret day name too, maybe their datin' and Mistiah J's secret boyfriend reminded him of the Batman, because it is actually Batman…only durin' the day time...wait, what? My brain hurts!_

She smiled and giggled softly, she knew it wasn't true, but hey, it could happen, especially since the Joker put on so much make-up, _includin' those freaky fake scars, _he could be anyone in Gotham. _And that's another thing! If Mistiah J loves me so much he would tell me who the hell he was durin' the day time! _Harley punched the wall, the titanium plates on her fists making a pleasant dent in the red brick of the old building.

_Well…can't go back, might as well go to Red's right? Right. But maybe I should go back…just to check on Mistiah J…then again he's probably throwin' a party…_

Harley could just picture it; the Clown Prince dancing around with his henchmen opening bottles of Vodka and laughing and singing about how _"_Little Harley Quinn" had run off in a tantrum again. And they all thought that they knew that she would come back soon and clean up the mess they made with a smile and a laugh like she always did. _Not anymore you jerks. I ain't your mothers and I am right glad for it! _

"Ah…who needs him? I got plenty of other stuff to do besides try and create anarchy." She ticked off her fingers, "I gotta go back to school, I gotta get myself a job, I gotta…I gotta…" she trailed off as something across the giant car-clogged street caught her eye. It was a small piece of paper, posted on a lamp post. The brightly colored sheet seemed to call to her. Maybe it was her love of bright object, maybe it was because there was fun in going out in public as Harley Quinn, or maybe it was just because a little voice in her head told her that, that little paper would make everything better.

"I gotta go read whatever is on that paper…" She brushed off the imaginary dust on her shoulders and reached into her frilled cuff, which was hollowed out for special storage. She pulled out a small metal rod and pushed the small button on the bottom. The small rod started to vibrate and move. It expanded and got thicker at the top, within the minute Harley had her signature giant mallet slung over her shoulder, _havin' this new gear is great!_ She pushed herself off the wall, and breathed deeply; _show time! _

She put on her best smile and walked out of the shadow of the alley into the bright lights of the expensive stores and crowds of people. It was only eight thirty, so the streets were clogged with people. Within a few second she had three feet of room in all directions and people were screaming their heads off trying to run away from her. She laughed, and, just for the show and for her reputation, she gave the mallet a few wild swings, laughing manically.

She kept on smiling and walking right into the streets, where cars screeched to a halt as she casually walked right through the middle of the road. Instead of getting honked at, people sat, frozen in their seat; their eyes following her every movement. _I guess bein' friends with Mistiah J has perks, at least everyone is tryin' to not hurt me, case he's close by…smart people. _

When she reached the other side of the street, she walked over to the post and started to read the sign. It was an ad for a new personal assistant and secretary for Bruce Wayne. _Bruce…Wayne? Like Wayne enterprises, Bruce Wayne…like the mega friggin' ca-gillionaire Bruce Wayne? _

She grabbed a man, mid-thirties by looks, by the arm and pulled him close, face to face their nose almost touching. She widened her eyes and whispered really loudly, "hey, mistiah read this, is it an ad for Bruce Wayne's secretary?"

The poor man was sweating himself into a fit, but still his eyes traveled over the paper and back to her face, "Y-yes."

"Well, I'll be…" she gave the man an ear splittin' grin and let him go, at which point he ran into the crowd that had all stopped to look at her. "I wasn't imaginin' it."

Harley kept on starin' at the poster for quite awhile thinkin' about the words on it…_if Mr. Wayne needs a secretary why doesn't he hire an agency…or maybe this is the agency…neat! This would be a great job! _

She smiled and giggled to herself, she could do this, she had been second in command to the biggest loony in Gotham for three years now, she could handle this. Easily, _and this job has a regular income, and hopefully, no Batsy_.

The paper said that the interview was tomorrow, so she had to be prepared. There was a woman's clothing store nearby wasn't there? _I still have some spare cash; goin' clean means payin' for stuff._

Harley did an about face, ready to head off to the nearest department store, eyes closed in happiness, when her nose perked with a familiar scent. She instantly dropped into the splits and swung her mallet at the pair of black leather encased legs that held up the man that had tried to punch her face inside out. _For once, Mistiah J, I agree with ya, learnin' to know what Batman smells like was actually helpful. _

_*!**!*!*!**!*!*_

_So I've had a bit of fun with this...sorry it's a bit short but I promise chapter two will be great!_

_R&R lovers, it does make me work harder._


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chp 2…sorry it's been so long but I;ve been working on other fic too….R&R lovers**

**AAA**

_ …..Harley did an about face, ready to head off to the nearest department store, eyes closed in happiness, when her nose perked with a familiar scent. She instantly dropped into the splits and swung her mallet at the pair of black leather encased legs that held up the man that had tried to punch her face inside out. For once, Mistiah J, I agree with ya, learnin' to know what Batman smells like was actually helpful….._

**AAAA**

She heard a satisfying crack then a thud as the Dark Crusader fell over sideways, with a brand-new broken ankle, and cracked shin bone. She pushed herself up from the splits, rolled the Batman onto his back and put her foot on his stomach. The crowd of people gathered closer around them, whispering, but Harley only had eyes for the Bat.

"Ya know; you ruin my fun Batman. I wasn't hurtin' no one and I wasn't plannin' on it either." She sighed, she was gonna regret this but something inside her just couldn't leave him here, maybe it was her good old fashion catholic girl schooling, but leaving a downed man to the wild animals was too cruel.

There was something in his eyes, like he was trying to struggle against the pain, enough to give her some, and maybe something more. Something like regret and self-hatred. Harley could definitely sympathize.

She dropped her mallet onto the ground and reached her hand out to Batman. _I am such a sucker for the dark, weird types…might as well take him to Red's…since no hospital would let me walk away and take this big lug without a few questions._

"Here, come on, I ain't gonna hurt ya, I ain't like Mistiah J, I wouldn't hit a man when he's down." He just stared at her.

She gave a very long, frustrated sigh.

"Look Bats…I'm tryin' to separate myself from Mistiah J, hard as that is to believe, but it's true. I was standin' here lookin' at this poster, I need a job, get back on track, ya know? Then you come bustin' in and try and punch a girl, especially when she's not facin' ya? If you was me, what the heck would you have done?" She reached down even farther and grabbed the Dark Knight's hand, and, with all her strength pulled him up.

"See?" She gave him a smile, when she grabbed his hand and slung it around her shoulder, and her arm around his waist. "Your Bat mobile…call it to ya. You've got that kind of technology, dontcha?" She started to walk down the street without waiting for a confirmation, dragging the silent man with her along the streets, when people started to crowd them. Harley gave a long, loud whistle, "back off; all of ya's! We're on a date here and if you really want to bother us, I might have to hurt ya." Her voice dripped with that oh, so famous Harley Quinn evil sweetness.

For a few minutes they walked in silence down Main Street, step by slow step, the crowds thinning as they left the shopping district. Block after block until Harley saw the sign for the road that Red's daytime flower shop was on.

"Why?" Harley turned her head towards that Batman's grizzly voice, once they were walking on the side street, with no one on it.

"I don't really know. Ya seem like a good guy; sorry 'bout your ankle and leg, automatic thing, ya know? And to be honest I know a bit about what you're goin' through Batman. Hard as that is to believe."

"This could be a trap." His voice held nothing but distrust and loathing.

"Nope. Mistiah J's at the hide out, warehouse number three at the docks, by the way, partyin' his balls off 'cause little Harley Quinn left him." She giggled a little, a very depressed, world weary giggle, "I've been meanin' to leave him for awhile, but it never seemed to be the right time. But now it is. That sign back there was a job ad, I'm gonna give it a shot, ya see…"

The Bat cut her off, "you're an insane super villainess, who's wanted in over twenty-four countries, you're an accessory to the most insane man in the world and you've given me more bruises, broken bones, and scars than anyone else; including the Joker."

Harley blinked. _Really? Cool._

"And you're looking for a job, and start your life over; how? Go back to online college, room with Poison Ivy and start over as a normal person?" He finished with a cold harsh laugh, before hacking himself breathless.

Harley stooped draggin' the man down the street and faced him, her mouth wide open. "That was the most words you've ever said at one time…to, well any of us!" she said, voice strangely quiet, filled with awe. Then she seemed to find her mind that had obviously run away. "Well…yeah, that's the general idea, a lot of us are reformin' ya know."

He snorted. The Batman snorted. "Give me one good example."

Harley narrowed her eyes, _skeptically as always…God I cannot wait till he sees Red when she's not tryin' to kill him…I could take a picture of his face and sell it for college money! _She giggled slightly. "Take Eddie as an example, the Riddler I mean, he's got a day job workin' at the Daily Gotham, comin' up with the daily crossword sections, the papers have never sold more. And he's kinda' happy so he no longer needs to hate you. That and meetin' Andorra was good for him too. She's from Greece. They meet at a cheese tasting and fell in love. " Harley gave a small resentful sigh, it was cute but it bugged the hell outa her that she wasn't in love. She was twenty three for God's Sake!

"Humph." He was still skeptical she could tell…only one more block to go, then it would home free.

"Alright, how about Cat Woman; she hasn't stolen anythin' in over a month…all because she, Red, and I have girl's nights now a day's…you could come ya know, you bein' gay and all."

"I don't do the gay best friend thing with my arch enemies." Then she watched as his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open.

"Got ya." She smiled, and then gasped as he retched himself out of her arms, and fell to the ground with a loud grunt, right onto his injured leg. "God! Batman!"

She tried to reached down and help him back up but he slapped her hand away, and struggled in vain to get up. "Stop it! Batman, yer gonna hurt ya self, and I ain't gonna just sit here and watch you make a big—"

"You tricked me!" the Batman practically yelled, his gravelly voice sinister and scary. "I knew you weren't actually going to help me. So what's the catch, going to black mail me now, so that you and that clown can do whatever the hell you want, I don't think so, go ahead and…" he broke off as Harley giggled, then she chuckled, then she burst out in laughter.

"Oh, oh my, that's…that's a good one Batman. " She wiped her eyes and bent over to recover her breath from laughing. "Oh, thanks Batsy, I needed that badly. Now stop bein' an idiot and let me help you up." she reached for her him again, and this time got a firm grip on his arm and yanked him up again and back into his earlier position.

"Explain yourself Harley. Now." His voice was more back it's normal gravelly self, but it lacked something...something Harley _knew _should be there but it wasn't, and they started moving slowly.

Harley opened her mouth to quickly explain but she hesitated. Batman's posture had changed. It was no longer upright and trying not to look as hurt as he really was. Now it slumped and slower, it spoke of weariness and fear, like an elderly man who had returned from the horrors of war. Harley felt her insides twitch; reminding her she could feel guilt. _Oh Batman, what have we done to you?_

When she opened her mouth this time, her words were chosen very carefully. "When I was fifteen, my father died." Batman's eyes snapped to her face. "It broke my heart. I loved my Papa," she smiled at that. "But it was his time, I guess. So then we, mama and me, needed money. So she started workin' late and I tried to study as hard and as fast so I could graduate and get a decent job and support her. When the studio found me and gave me the show, I was on cloud nine, I had a job that paid great money and I was happy."

"Then Mistiah J showed up and promised me more. He promised me love and money and fun and happiness and promised my mama a comfy house on some tropical island, so I said yes." she sighed. Then she sat them both down onto a bench right outside Red's apartment and flower shop.

"So for three years I've done my job and waited for my payday and you know what? It never came, but I kept on waiting. Until I found out my mama never left her crappy little apartment in Kings, and was barely living. So I stopped taking the Joker's crap. And here I stand." So she stood up and walked a step or two away before snapping around.

She gave Batman a long hard glare. "I've messed up. Big time. But I can change. I had hopes once, and I want to get those back. You once had dreams. I bet you still do. You just can't do that until you feel like you've saved this pathetic dump of a city. So Batman, here's the billion dollar question. When you wake up every morning are you happy? Because I'm not, and blackmailing you won't make me any happier."

"I had no idea..." the man's voice was gravelly and soft, remorseful even.

"Yeah, well, it's not something I spread around for the fun of things, ya know? So keep it to yourself, no telling anyone Batsy, or I'll have ta hurt ya" she giggled a little, and sat down next to him. Stretching a little and sighing, she slumped next to him.

"What now?"

Harley looked up at the sky. Then suddenly made up her mind. "Stay right here okay?" She stood and faced him. Waiting for confirmation of promise.

He nodded. She smiled and back flipped before cart wheeling and tumbling off into the darkness of an alley. She twisted and flipped and flew until she was at the doorstep of a small apartment that sat right above _"Red's Roses" flower_ shop. She had helped Ivy pick out the name herself.

She knocked on the door before hearing Ivy's soft angelica "who is it?" She smiled a bit, knowing that Red was probably fixing some kind of desert for herself right about now before watching some TV with her plants. "It's me Red, and I've got-" she paused, what was Batman? "I've got s bit of a funny story to tell ya."

She heard Ivy get up and move towards the door before she was met with the warmth of the plant witch's hug. She hugged back; this was her best friend in the whole wide world.

When they pulled back, Harley studied her friend. Deciding she was better suited for this calmer life. Ivy's long red hair was down, the long sensual strands falling all around her, a wild halo that fell perfectly around her tiny waist. Her soft green skin glowed with health and the red dress was a tight and made of blood red rose petals. If Harley didn't know about her friend's love of wearing plants for clothing, she would have thought she was going out to cause trouble.

"So tell me Harl, what brings you too my door?" Ivy tried to guide her in but instead Harley pulled her towards the stairs. "Walk with me Red, I have a problem. Kinda."

Ivy looked perplexed for a moment, and then she shut her door and followed Harley down the step with a soft, "alright."

"Well, for starters, I've left Mistiah J, foreva. I mean it this time."

Ivy laughed, "Good. What else?"

"Well, I was going to go to a job interview tomorrow and try to go clean. Ya know, the whole works, like Eddie, or Ozzie, or you." Harley smiled, and laughed when Ivy punched her shoulder delicately.

"We'll see how that goes, anything else? "

"Well...I need a place to stay..."

"With me of course, you have to do laundry though."

"Fine. Meany." But she cracked a huge smiled.

"anything else?" Ivy stopped walking when Harley did, right at the entrance to the alley, not twenty feet from Batman.

"well...I have another problem. Ya see, now Red don't get mad, but I ran into a-a friend of ours and he was hurt, so I thought maybe you could, ya know use you're plant magical healy-thingy to help him?" Harley's vice turn into a squeak at the ending, her face blushing hard under her make-up.

Ivy smiled, "of course I can help, where is he, actually...who is he?" Ivy looked at Harley expectantly.

"here. Just follow me Red, remember don't be mad." Harley walked out of the alley and turned the corner. Ivy started after her, _why would I be mad, it's not like Harl brought me the Joker, no, it can't be him so who...?_

Ivy followed her friend around the corner and heard Harley talking to a dark figure on a bench a few feet away, "...no be nice, she's going to help you, I promise, not a single bit of hurt at all okay?" as Ivy approached the figure began to take shape and by the time she was behind Harley, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach.

Her eyes met the Batman's eyes. "WHAT?" both she and he screeched.

Ivy was the first to react, her stance changed, her feet shifted and her arms raised into an attacking position. The batman like wise was struggling to raise himself up into position of less danger. Harley for her credit, didn't stay put for long, soon she was between Ivy and Batman, her hand on the crusader's shoulder trying to keep him still.

"batman, calm down! Please will both of ya's please stop it!" Harley yelled. Both froze, batman seemed to calm down first and relaxed in her hand. Ivy dropped her stance and straightened her dress, fixed her hair and snapped out, "Harley, why, and please try and be honest here, would you bring _Batman _to my doorstep?"

"Harley," the Batman growled, "why would you bring me to _her _doorstep?"

"I asked first, you over grown rodent."

"Humans first, _Ivy_."

"Human? Ha, please you're made more out of steal and rubber than anything else, you cold hearted,suspicious, comic book freak!"

Batman flinched. Harley saw and she snapped. "Red, enough already! Gawd you can be such a meany sometimes!" she sat next to batman and put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed it. "come Batsy, you know she's just kidding, you're not a freak, you're just unique...we all are." She smiled at him and glared at Ivy.

She broke, with a snort she uncrossed her arms and reached for batman, "alright batman, I'm sorry. You're not a freak. Now for god's sake lets get you inside to shut Harley up." the batman let out a rough laugh at this and Harley squeaked with indignation. Before getting up and helping Ivy into her apartment.

"Harley, dear go grab me the jar of salve...its the blue one on the kitchen counter, and you," she said to batman, "you need to lay down on that table." she pointed to a long sturdy table, that reassembled the ones in the doctors office.

"fine." he began to limp and hobble over o the table but was stopped by the sound of Ivy's voice.

"ah, ah, ah batman...you're going to need to strip your armor off. I can't heal your skin and bones if I can't reach them."

"forget it."

"oh for God's sakes you can keep your mask on, just get rid of the rest of it. You are wearing undergarments aren't you?" Ivy laughed gentle and glided out of the room, "I'll give you three minutes batman. Then I'm coming back whether you want it or not."

Ivy waltz into the kitchen where Harley was bouncing and back flipping from the fridge to the table, preparing to dig into Ivy's left over Chinese. She sat down in the seat next to Harley's and sighed delicately. The orchid in the center of the table swaying gently towards her, showing it's sympathy to her plight.

She gently caressed its petals and kissed a leaf, before standing again, feeling restless. Suddenly she said, "you know how much trouble we'll be in if he reports us right?"

Harley bit into a piece of chicken and nodded, saying nothing more.

"I know you love helping lost causes but God, Harl could have picked up a dog or kitten, not the dark crusader of Gotham city?"

Harley shook her head 'no'. Ivy let out another quick sigh before gliding out of the room. When she re-entered her small living/ work room and was surprised to see batman, in nothing but his mask and a pair of black boxers sitting on the edge of her operating table, looking like a small child.

"never fear, Batman, this wont hurt you a bit." she walked over too him and flipped on a light switch. Instantly the small dull glow of the room was brightened by a small lamp that was attached to the side of the table.

"lay down." the large man did so and as he did Ivy gave an involuntary gasp. She had been in Arkham asylum many dozens of times but she had never seen anyone look so beaten in her life. The skin that wasn't destroyed was a healthy shade of alabaster that covered lithe rippling muscles. But healthy kin was far and few between...everything else was covered in bruises, scars, open wounds festering with puss, and large hideous welts of infection.

His arms were no better and his legs were worse, she clearly saw the shattered bones and broken muscles, ripped apart by Gotham's endless criminals.

"Harley! Get me the small red bottle on the counter and the clear bottle with the red pills and the other big bottle of liquid and some fresh towels and hot water." she said hurriedly, she immediately heard the girl spring into action, their connection almost telepathic.

The bat watched in amazement as bottles flew out of the kitchen directly into Ivy's hands. The temptress flitted around the room gathering other bottles and potions. At one point she reached out to a small potted fern on one of her windows where the plant literally uprooted itself and crawled onto her arm, the leaves and small branches collecting the bottles from Ivy and holding them for her.

Harley bounced into the room with a glass pith of steaming water, a couple towels and a bottle of vodka held in her teeth.

"What are you doing?" Both women kept hastily moving about when the bat's growling question was asked.

"We're getting ready to operate on you bats!" Harley said eagerly uncorking the vodka and poured some into three glasses before corking it and throwing it at a small flowery plant in the corner, which twisted its limbs, and caught it.

She handed one to Ivy and one to the Bat before raising it clinging glasses the woman owned the shots and tossed their glasses to the closest plant life in the room. Batman looked at the vodka and then gulped it down. The hot sting felt like heaven going down his throat.

Soon enough Ivy started opening bottles and mixing them then pouring them onto his destroyed body, forcing pills down his throat and ordering Harley around. Batman entertained himself by watching the small uprooted fern, named Terra he learned, scuttling along the edges of his table, cleaning his wounds with the towels and water and once ever so often, dipping its roots into the water to absorb back some of its lost life power, coming back fuller greener and stronger.

Everything Ivy seemed to do to his wounds seemed to be working, his bones were completely healed and Harley had disappeared to the kitchen. In the mean time Ivy seemed to talk out loud to Terra, almost ignoring him, every time she gave the plant a compliment or gave it a kiss on the leaf, the plant seemed to sigh from the affection.

He actually felt a little jealous. When was the last time anyone had given him affection like that? Like a mother and her child, or a friend to a friend, or a loving owner and its pet.

"You know, I've always wondered just how you survived doing this every night. It always seemed to kill you after just one night, plus a day life and no sleep. The facade must be killer." Ivy didn't look at him but he knew the statement was directed at him.

"It isn't easy, but you get used to It." he couldn't believe he just said that.

"Darling, you need to prioritize, you can't be older than twenty eight."

"Twenty six." And yet he felt like he was ninety.

"...Yet you must feel at least ninety. If not older. Why not let the city fall into disrepair. It will eventually."

"I have successors, and as long as I breathe I won't give up."

Ivy sighed, smiling slight and rolled her shoulders out and around. "You know Batman, I get that you feel the need to do all of this, save lives and be a lone hero."

"Thank you." he said sarcastically.

"You're welcome, however, I also, despite what you think, believe in true love and soul mates. I am after all only a twenty year old woman." she gave him a pointed look and a small smirk. "And I think it's time you found yours and give up this ridiculous suicide mission."

"This coming from the temptress of Eden?" The name was the newest tabloid craze for the villainess. "I'm flattered you've thought of my well being after all these years of mercilessly beating me to death."

She sighed. Glancing to the door, she realized Harley had fallen asleep on the sofa beside her. She moved her hands over the wounds in Batman's chest and ribs, healing the muscles and tendons. "I can't really tell you anything. We all want what we want, but we don't know what we need."

"Care to elaborate?"

**AAAAAA**

**Well. I hope we like it….I intend to continue, no matter what you do. **

**But please for me just R&R**


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